Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets (Besson; 2017)

Even if you don’t immediately recognize the name Luc Besson, you will most certainly recognize at least a few of his movies.  In 1990 the French director brought us La Femme Nikita, not his first film, but the first most moviegoers are likely to recognize, in 1994 he gave us Leon: The Professional,  and 1997 The Fifth Element.  He also wrote the first two films in the Taken series.  That’s a damn good resume for someone who isn’t a household name outside of Europe.  While he has been steadily working in some form in the film industry this entire time, Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets is his first major cinematic directorial release in some time.

Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets is based on the French comic book series “Valerian and Laureline” which was initially published in 1967 and has since influenced a lot of modern science fiction including Star Wars and the aforementioned The Fifth Element.   Valerian is very much a space opera as opposed to more real world based science fiction.  There is no explanation of the science behind the events and gadgets used in the story, it’s just enough that they exist and that they evoke a reaction.  Valerian, therefore, really has more in common with classic fantasy like “Lord of the Rings” than it does with harder science fiction like Blade Runner or “Star Trek”.


Major Valerian is brought to life on screen by Dane DeHaan who appears to be doing his best Keanu Reeves impersonation.  He speaks and intones so much like Keanu for the entire film, I kept waiting for the “Whoa!”  Valerian’s partner and love interest Sergeant Laureline is played by Cara Delevigne whom we last saw as The Enchantress in Academy Award winning mess which was Suicide Squad.  She gives a better performance here than she did in last year’s film, but it still seems like Besson like Snyder last year is more interested in making sure we see what a fantastic body Delevigne has than how well she can portray a character.  As a heterosexual male I can definitely appreciate a good looking woman on screen, especially when she’s portrayed as a strong equal, if not superior, of any given man, alien, or robot around her, but when every scene comes up with an excuse for her to be wearing essentially underwear and even her full body combat suit she wears later is contoured to show off every last bit of her figure, it gets creepy and distracting.  I say this as more of a commentary on Besson as a director, though, and not of Delevigne’s performance, as she shows here she can have a very commanding presence on screen, and in my opinion was the best actor and character in the film.  Of the supporting cast, Rhianna gives the most interesting performance, but her character leaves the film far too quickly in my opinion, only staying around for a couple of scenes, and she is also as much a voice actor as a physical presence due to the very interesting nature of her role which I won’t spoil here.

The writing of the film is a bit of a mess, though a fun mess, trying to include a bit too much and therefore not fleshing out anything as much as it needs to be and leaving far too many frayed and swinging plot threads.  The main story surrounding the mystery regarding the destruction of a paradise planet 30 years before the film’s events is a good anchor for Valerian‘s story, and to the writer’s credit all the subplots branch into and out of this main plot fairly seamlessly and thoughtfully.  The problems come in when those subplots themselves are just left open.  Characters vowing to destroy our heroes are never seen again.  Interesting backstories are brought into play, only to be left by the wayside due to the interests of the main plot, and so on. In addition, certain major beats in the story make little sense or can be downright contradictory when a bit of thought is put into them, making one wonder how they made their way into the story in the first place.


The spectacle on display in Valerian is absolutely top notch.  If nothing else can be said about the film, it is most certainly a delight for the eyes with its highly creative settings, creatures, gadgets, and situations which involve every environment you can think of including multi-dimensional settings which can have our characters in multiple environments at the same time (this was my favorite part of the film), more alien, truly alien sometimes, beings than you can take in in one viewing, and a near overload of motion and color.  This is a space opera nerds dream come true in many ways, though lovers of more traditional hard science fiction may roll their eyes at much of what is going on, and those who don’t care for science fiction in any form will most likely not understand why anyone would want to see this.


Final verdict:  Valerian is a mess, but it is a beautiful and fun mess.  The plot makes just enough sense to hold the story together and keep our interest, but it falls apart upon any sort of inspection whatsoever.  The acting is all over the place from Dane DeHaan channeling Keanu Reeves to play his role for him to Clive Owen’s cartoonish villainy to Cara Delevigne’s actually nuanced performance marred by the oversexualization of the actress (though, oddly, not the character).  If knowing a film is visually creative with non-stop action and neat takes on science is enough to pique your interest, then you should definitely see Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets in the theater, in IMAX and 3-D if possible, where it is really meant to be seen.  If a strong story, character development, and some grounding in reality are necessary for you, though, Valerian is one to avoid, even when it comes out for the small screen in the future as then even its strengths won’t truly be on display as they are meant to be.

Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (Edwards; 2016)

For nearly 40 years, the Star Wars movies have been the mainstream movie audience’s junk food of choice.  They really have no value to them whatsoever, but they are comforting, addicting, and go down easily.  Star Wars and The Empire Strikes Back in this metaphor would be your favorite pizza from your favorite parlor with your favorite toppings while the prequels would be the crap which has been sitting all day on the 7-11 rotisserie thing behind the counter.  Rogue One is most definitely a Star Wars film in the same vein, and I’d call it chicken nuggets if I continue forcing the metaphor – don’t look too closely at what it is and how it was made and you can really enjoy it, but it really shows a lot of crap upon any close inspection.

First, let’s talk about the characters.  We have a cast of thinly developed and routinely acted characters led by Felicity Jones as our hero Jyn Erso and a particularly bland and unmemorable performance from Diego Luna as Cassian Endor.  From the supporting cast, we have a collection that are a bit more memorable than our protagonists, but moreso because of odd character traits than actual developed personality.  The only really fantastic and developed of the film’s cast is Alan Tudyk as the voice of reprogrammed Imperial Droid K-2SO who shows once again that he is one of Hollywood’s most underrated and unfortunately overlooked performers.  For an actor who never once shows his face on screen in this film, he still manages to steal every single scene he shows up in.


Here we see the most human character in the movie, and I don’t mean the shorter one.

The screenplay, too, is as thin as Rogue One‘s characters, serving only to set up action sequences.  Characters run into each other by chance then decide to never leave each others’ company for no explainable reason.  People who met ten minutes prior are suddenly close friends and treat each other as they would someone who has spent years earning their respect and trust simply because the plot needs them to and the writers were too lazy to find any other way of doing things.   None of the events in the film happen because of any realistic set of motivations or actions on the part of the characters, but obviously take place because the movie needed to start in one place, arrive in another predetermined place, and the writers give us the simplest, black and white, connect the dots means of doing so.

Yet, despite all this, Rogue One is often a whole lot of fun.  The centerpiece of any Star Wars story for the last 30 years has been action sequences mixed in with a heaping helping of fan service and nostalgia, and these are delivered creatively and spectacularly.  This is the closest thing we’ve had yet to a Star Wars war film, ironically, and seeing set pieces which mix up Stormtroopers fighting rebels while X-Wings and Tie Fighter lend air support battling straight overhead and AT-AT Walkers towering over the battle adding yet another element to the battle makes us realize we’ve never really seen something like this before in Star Wars films which are generally far more streamlined in its action sequences and never show that anyone is capable of thinking in a tactical manner in this world.


“Storm the beach, they said.  Take the high ground, they said.  I joined the wrong side of this war.”

No one expects anything more than fluff entertainment from a Star Wars film, and when taking just the special effects and action into account, Rogue One delivers on that fluff entertainment in the best way possible, with these sequences being some of the best we’ve ever seen in the Star Wars Universe.  However, the characters and script are more shallow than is even usual for Star Wars.  Back story, motivation, and logic not only take a back seat to the visuals, but are practically non-existent.  Rogue One will almost certainly entertain most people except for the most die hard anti-Star Wars crowd, and it has ample amounts of creativity in its action, but it is incredibly shallow leaving you wishing there had been more to it when all is said and done.

Rating:  5.8 out of 10